Wrestlemania

Before I get to today's column just a couple of points from the last round of the tournament.

1) How entertaining was the Georgetown, North Carolina game? And since I hate North Carolina and have Georgetown making the finals it was all the better. Single handily saved my bracket and gave me an outside shot of winning my pool.

2) See what happens when I call guys out. Lee Humphrey thank you for stepping up and not allowing a pesky Oregon team to knock us out. Thank you.

3) In Simmons column on Tuesday he said how ABC and ESPN talked his wife into writing a recap of the Bachelor for there website. This seems unlikely and I'm pretty sure it went down like this.

Sports Gal: Bill I'm bored I've got nothing to do around the house all day

Simmons: So what do you want me to do? Go do something.

Sports Gal: Bill remember when you made your football picks and I had my own little column that was fun.

Simmons: Yeah

Sports Gal: Well I was thinking maybe you could talk to your editors about giving me a column

Simmons: Well we write about sports. You'd have to write about sports.

Sports Gal: Well they're partners with ABC maybe you could talk to them about me writing something for them.

Simmons gets a pale look over his face as he stands there frozen.

Sports Gal: Bill will you just talk to your editor for me?

Simmons: Ughh

Sports Gal: After all the (expletive) I put up with from you you can't do this one thing for me.

See I'm pretty sure that's how it happened

Anyway so this weekend is Wrestlemania and it may surprise you to know that I was once a wrestling fan. When I say once I mean two years ago and when I say fan I mean huge fan, like order every pay-per-view and go see live shows type of fan. So what turned me off? Well for one thing I became ten times more busy with the start of university and to really get the full entertainment value of wrestling you have to be ensconced in it. There are certain things that you just come to accept when being a wrestling fan. The storylines make no sense, the acting is awful, and that these are muscular men fighting in their underwear. When you are really ensconced in it you forget these things and it is just pure entertainment, but when you only watch occasionally these things really jump out at you. I almost went back last year when I heard that Kevin Federline was on it because well that's just good television but every time I tried to watch all of the above mentioned flaws jumped out at me. Looks like wrestling will be a part of my now dying youth which is said because there's a lot of things that I still miss about it like the following.

1) The thrill of excitement from major pay-per-views like wrestlemania and summerslam. When you're into it the electricity is unbelievable.

2) The wrestling crowds: It's nice to go to a wrestling event with your friends and know you're the coolest guys there. I remember one live show I went to they were throwing out T-shirts and I out jumped a couple of three hundred pound guys, a ten year old and a couple dudes in sweat pants to hall it in. I then proceeded to celebrate like OJ Mayo only to bring the T-Shirt home and realize it was a XXX-L. I guess I should have given it to the guys that were three bills.

3) Back in ninth grade there was an extremely attractive classmate of mine and she overheard my friend and I talk about wrestling and turns out she was a huge fan. I nearly proposed right there. I wasn't that turned on until senior year when another gorgeous girl overheard me talking about a Boxing match and it turned out she loved boxing.

I wish I never stopped watching but now that I have I'm afraid I can't go back. Maybe I should give it one more try. If this Sunday I'm bored around 8:00pm I might just place the order. If you ever cared about wrestling maybe you should consider doing the same.